Faith and Feelings: Emotional Wellness in a Christian’s Life

I’ve heard it said like this: emotions are our body’s initial reaction, and feelings are how we interpret or label our emotions. I agree.

When we’re triggered, our emotions flare up quickly. Often resulting in behavior that’s not rooted in consciousness. In other words, we respond in the heat of the moment, without giving our response any thought. Feelings come later. They follow our emotions and they are based in consciousness. Our faith, beliefs, values, past experiences, etc., inform our feelings.

God created us with emotions. It was humans that gave some of those emotions negative connotations, but our emotions in and of themselves are not negative or sinful. It’s in how we choose to express them that make them negative or sinful.

We need to move away from this notion that a Christian’s display of any emotion other than love or appreciation is an indictment on their faith. It’s the craziest thing.  As if the presence of anger, pain, sadness, frustration, feel in the blank, means the absence of faith.

The Bible says there’s a time for everything. A time to weep and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance. There are times when people are hurting and experiencing real pain – and they often suffer in silence because they’re misunderstood when they express their pain. I know that was true for me. But pain and faith are not mutually exclusive. They can coexist.

Emotions buried alive never die.

There are a lot of Christians suffering in silence. But they have to look like they’ve got it all together to hopefully escape any judgment or criticism from other Christians. Meanwhile a quiet storm is wreaking havoc inside. So we say we’re OK when we’re really not, because now we’ve adopted the belief that faith means to lie about how we feel and display only positive emotions and feelings. It’s complete deception. Because if you don’t acknowledge how you’re really feeling and seek to understand your emotions, you will never be able to experience the freedom of emotional health.

And healthy does not always mean positive. Accept that it’s OK to not be OK sometimes.

To be emotionally healthy means being in control of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in a way that supports your overall well-being and relationships. It doesn’t mean you’re happy all the time, and you never feel negative emotions. It means you can handle life’s ups and downs with resilience, by faith and through grace – and with awareness and balance.

In my quest to understand human behavior and its relationship to holistic alignment, I came across some key traits necessary for emotional health, which I’ll highlight.

To be emotionally healthy, you need to:

1. Practice self-awareness. Recognize your emotions and seek to understand why you feel the way you do. Reflect on your thoughts and behaviors as well. Notice without judgment. We talked about human behavior in episode 3. Recall that thoughts precede emotions and behavior follows emotions. So when you’re triggered, practice slowing the I/R process down so you can gain understanding of your emotions and control of your behavior.
   
2. Build emotional resistance. That’s your “resilience” or your get-back-up muscle.  Your get-back-up muscle allows you to bounce back from setbacks, failures, stress, moments of anxiety, and anything else. When you’re grounded in Jesus, your faith in Him and his ability to keep you gives you the strength and compels you to get back up and keep going. If your faith is weak, ask the Lord to increase your faith. Faith comes by hearing and hearing the Word of God.
   
3. Cultivate supportive relationships. Develop and maintain healthy relationships based on mutual respect and empathy. Let go of toxic dynamics. Communicate clearly and set clear boundaries.
   
4. Purpose and meaning. Have goals, values, and sense of direction in life that motivates you.  Actively seek to be in alignment with God’s will for your life. Our broader purpose in life is to glorify God. But we all have a unique purpose that is connected to the talents and abilities God has given us. Seek to discover that purpose. Living purposefully gives your life meaning. Purpose Aligned Living creates opportunities in your life for meaningful impact.
   
5. Self compassion. Rather than being your biggest critic, be your biggest advocate. Be kind to yourself and give yourself some grace. The way you speak to yourself matters. So let Perfect Patty go and give Superwoman her cape back.
   
6. Balance. Maintain a healthy balance between work, your relationships, your personal time, and other obligations. And balance does not mean equal.  Be aware of the season you’re in in your life. Briefly explain. Learn to say no to protect your time and your energy. If you have trouble saying no, you can say thank you for asking or thinking of me but I don’t have the capacity for that right now.

Your emotional health matters. It influences your mental health, physical health, and quality of life. And it helps you make wise decisions.

Emotions buried alive never die. That doesn’t mean to let your emotions or your feelings lead you. We’re to be led by the Spirit of God. The takeaway here is to get the emotions out of your body. Express yourself, but in healthy ways.  That can be through honest prayer, worship, journaling, talking to a trusted friend or support group, or other creative outlets like writing poetry, art, or music. Release your emotions constructively.

Not in ways that will cause you to sin and have to go back to somebody and ask them for forgiveness…if your pride will let you.

God cares about you in totality, meaning your whole self.

So give yourself permission to feel, heal, and grow without shame.

The inner work is the most important work. This isn’t about never telling anyone who has hurt you, wronged you, or offended you in some way how you feel. It’s about practicing awareness, seeking to understand, and surrendering your emotional health to God. Learning when to exercise restraint and when to speak up.

We’re triggered because of our programming. Having hard conversations can be tough. The truth is the truth, no matter how we feel about it. And yet delivery is important.

Sometimes it’s not what the person said or did. It’s that’s they’re challenging our beliefs, our stories, our operating system, and that caused us to glitch. Not every belief we have and not every story we’ve created is true. We tend to entertain limited ideas, which leads to self-sabotage.

Other times it is about what the person said or did and you need to handle that situation accordingly.  

Either way, it’s an opportunity to examine yourself and determine, is this something I need to work out in me? Is this a me and God issue? Did my ego just take a hit?

Or is this something I need to address with the other person?  It could be both. And the answer is it depends. But that’s the work you need to commit to doing. Always start with God. Take everything to Him.  He knows what you need, and He’ll help you make wiser decisions.

Sis, I encourage you to surrender all. Commit to the inner work and allow God to restore and transform you from the inside out.  It’s about surrender and permission so you can experience freedom and peace not only in your emotional health, but in every area of your life.